“You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.”–E. O. Wilson
To fail. . .to endure failure is difficult. Today is the second day for me to endure my shortcomings, but, interestingly enough, today I feel motivated to endure my lack of greatness. I failed my class (in graduate school a “C+” is considered a fail), as you will notice my grades. This is heartbreaking to me because this means I am not “up to par” in regards to the conventions that are expected from me. Yes, I have fallen short of what is expected from me. My 420 course is an undergraduate course that I didn’t take as an undergrad and need in order to cross that classified threshold, but I didn’t. I took it online and it consisted of, gasp I am an English major and struggled with this, grammar and rules. Yes, I seemed to struggle with deciphering tests filled with paragraphs that needed to be answered in the traditional: this is a or an “adverbial clauses”, “noun clauses”, not “noun phrases”, an “adjective shift” and so on. I failed, by one point. Yes, I would’ve passed with one point and I didn’t. Now this course will be repeated in school, not online, this fall. Sadly, my GPA has decreased, more money will be spent and I have this relentless dark cloud hovering over me as I feel like a fool for showcasing my limitation, but I am shaking this off because retaking this course will make me a better person, a better English major and a resilient person. I will not shy from trying harder and my passed mental limitations will be obliterated. Do I feel embarrassed? Absolutely! I will get past this and this will simply be a figment of the past and a form of character building.
Have you ever felt down? Do you now? We can overcome our disappointments together because the human spirit, mind and soul are far too resilient to submit to defeat simply because of failing. We can get back up and we will succeed. I am putting myself out there, into a cruel and judgmental world, to inspire someone that may be going trough something, some sort of disappointment to stop questioning your brilliance and accept the fact that in life, we will fall, but the important part is getting back up. Don’t give up! You may not always conform into the preconceived and idealized molds of what is considered acceptable, but you are special in your own form with your ways of thinking. After all, aren’t we all novices of conformity within each new discourse? Certainly, I have resided within the English discourse for a while, but the English grammar discourse, not so much. Therefore, we must all, as in I, must understand that every new lesson is exactly that, new and one I must work towards understanding. Lesson learned!